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Opinion :: When OCD and ADD get married...
· 12:28pm February 15th, 2014
This year I decided that my New Years Resolution was to be a free spirit...and realize I will probably end up just slightly more free spirited than Sheldon of the Big Bang Theory,
The last few days I took another baby step in this direction.
Let me back up and explain the differences between OCD and ADD in our house.
OCD is nagging the husband to drop off the payment to the electric company, and ADD is the guy on the other end of the phone that says, "Oops, I'm sorry the power is out, I forgot to pay the bill..."
OCD is the one that takes the keys out of the car, and ADD is the one that returns to find that his car is no longer parallel parked in downtown Independence, but it has coasted down the street, through and intersection and is now resting on the curb,across the street, facing the wrong direction.
OCD constantly counted the heads of all of her chicks to make sure they were safely in the nest, ADD drops one off in town, then heads to another town to cover a story...while OCD gets a phone call saying, "Hey, are you missing somebody..."
OCD is the one biting her nails all winter in hopes that all the nagging of ADD will result in a check of the LP tank to see if it is sufficiently filled so that there is heat in the house...and occasionally ADD is checking fuses, the furnace and finally the LP tank, then sheepishly hands out the hat and gloves explaining that it could get a bit chilly.
OCD shuts off the lights when no one is in the room, ADD wants to make sure there is not a boogey man hiding in the darkest corner of the house.
OCD takes the car through the car wash when the dirt starts to cover the plates, and always has the kids picking up the wrappers in the backseat. ADD is convinced that God created wind and rain for car detailing purposes. Rain for the outside and wind to clean out the inside.
If you tell OCD that you aren't supposed to do something, she won't, while ADD says, "Ah, it was only a suggestion."
OCD makes sure the car is completely unloaded, light off, while ADD just grabs what he can, runs for the house...leaving the car door open...fortunately a couple hours later one of the kids notice it. The next day the trunk is open...and while ADD insists he didn't do it...
OCD's are wrapped pretty tight, while an ADD has no idea what wrapped means.
The latest battle has entered the bathroom.
ADD had decided to spiffy up the bathroom/bedroom/office this weekend, even broke out the vacuum cleaner. OCD has learned that when ADD has been in the house too long, to just stay out of the way and let him go. OCD is content to fill out paperwork, file it in file cabinets, make grocery lists, menus and do all the mundane things of life while ADD can't understand sitting in one spot for longer than 5 minutes.
Over the years, I have learned that there will never be a time we can sit on the couch together longer than 5 minutes.
He tries, bless his heart, but he has to move.
But back to our bedroom/bathroom/office activities.
OCD enters after the ADD storm has passed and is pleasantly surprised at which the state of the rooms are now again resembling those in Better Homes and Gardens.
The second trip through the rooms, she notices a 3 foot length of toilet paper strung across the bathroom floor.
Resisting the urge, OCD ignores it and walks out.
A return trip shows the aforementioned strip of homecoming decor has made it to the floor next to the garbage can.
Still OCD resists.
The following day OCD notices that there is now a whole roll of Charmin's squeezeable softness located in the middle of the floor...in the same spot as the aforementioned 3 foot length.
OCD is contemplating if this is a new sort of game...or just a way to relax in the bathroom. Thinking to herself, "Loosen up! For 26 years you have picked up those rolls, wrapped them neatly back on the roll, set them back in their designated parking place it's time to loosen up."
So I did.
Reaching for the next missile, I aimed for the middle of the floor.
I grinned a little as I exited knowing that there was no longer a lonely roll on the floor, but it now had a buddy.
Hours later, I observe that ADD has gotten the message, well sort of.
In addition to gathering the wayward rolls and placing them not so neatly back in their designated position, ANOTHER roll has joined them.
Now there are THREE rolls of paper sitting haphazardly in a stack in some sort of attempt to build a house like you would out of blocks.
So when in Rome....I decide that the building could only be made better if there were one more roll to help with the building process.
Reaching into the cupboard I pull out yet another roll and add it to the stack, giving it a long tail so that it will match the others.
I find I'm having quite a giggle just waiting to see what will transpire next.
It's just a little thing.
I now realize if you rearrange the letters in ADD, you simply get DAD, and probably the above behavior is part of the job description.
Rearrange OCD and you get DOC, someone I've seen too much of and who has told me to eliminate stress.
So folks, if you stop by, and need to use the restroom, pardon the mess, I'm just working on becoming a free spirit...one roll at a time!
Speechless on Feb. 14
A lesson in sportsmanship and patriotism, from a long-time rival